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New Year Resolutions: Making Promises That We Can Keep: Changing Our Mind to Transform Our Behavior!

The famous "New Year's Resolution" the annual promise that we make to ourselves to lose weight, stop smoking, stop procrastinating, to just do better, and strive to behave better in all of the ways that we have acknowledged a change is necessary.

Why are many of the promises that we make to ourselves short-lived? A promise is a commitment by an individual to do or not do something. Promises made to resolve existing issues is crucial to self-improvement, is worth keeping and should be kept. Why? We are valuable women (mothers of civilization) and the level of a people's manifestation of moral, spiritual and intellectual development is the measure and source of women. We deserve to achieve our goals and aspirations especially those that make us more effective. This article discusses the differences between change and transition and how changing our mind about ourselves can help us make promises that we are able to keep.
 
What we think, we become! 
Whatever we spend time thinking on will have or take precedent over the thought processes. We become what we think. The mind is a very powerful. Words are powerful. We cannot paint pictures in our mind that we are not prepared to live in. Negatives outcomes can result when we think that we will be unsuccessful at achieving our newly identified goals. We have the ability to manifest things that we believe or are passionate about regardless of whether these things are negative or positive.
 
Why? 
Our minds are powerful. Our visions, words and passions (positive emotions) produce successful positive outcomes for us. If we want negative things to change, we must stop thinking and saying what we may sometimes feel, especially when we are emotionally negative. When we profess with our mouths (with emotion that is negative or positive, with passion) the outcome of those circumstances will manifest.
 
We will produce that result. Better thoughts, better passion, behind those thoughts will always prove successful results.
 
Out of Balance 
We are mentally out of balance. We have so much on our plates. Women are multi-tasking gurus and must always strive to control their thoughts. It is the women whose thoughts and feelings shape the character of the unborn child. Clarity and recognition of our power is vital. We worry, ponder, become frustrated and give too much time to things stated about us by others (negatively). If we did something wrong, outside of what is proper, without proper guidance or because we did not know any better, that is called a mistake. The old adage "We do better, when we know better". That is real! We cannot be held back in our own heads (mind, thoughts) for living life lessons. These are the mistakes necessary or are the prerequisites for understanding a thing or learning.
 
Removing the old to bring in the new 
We must remove the thoughts of our old mind (ideas) and replace them with a new mind (ideas). A lady that I was coaching was asking why she continued to experience the same patterns of circumstances in her life. She stated that her fear of sinking financially was constantly her focus. She thought consistently about the bill collectors and the fact that she was unemployed. She experienced intense emotions behind these negative circumstances. The combination of her words, her visions of sinking deeper into debt and negative emotions produced what she said and seen. The opposite is also true.
 
The difference: change and transition 
Have you heard this old adage "It isn't the change that do you in, it is the transition". There is a definite difference between change and transition. Change is situational; it is a move to a new house/site, signing a contract, changing position or roles in an organization, or a New Year's resolution (commitment). If change happens without people going through a transition, it is just a re-arranging of the chairs. It is just like musical chairs, a game we use to play when we were young (Bridges, 1991).
 
A situational change (a resolution, signing a form, starting to exercise, stop smoking) centers or focuses on the new thing. Bridges (1991) stated that a transition is psychological; it is a process that women (individuals) go through as they internalize and come to terms with the details of the new situation that the change brings about. The psychological transition is dependent upon the letting go of the old reality (behaviors) that we had before the change took place. We must surrender the old before we can accept the new. Before we can do anything new, we have to end or transition out of what we use to do. Before we can become a new person and have new thoughts, we must surrender (let go) of the old identity (behavior, thoughts), study/learn what this new process will require, and with knowledge start the new beginning.
 
Mismanaged transition makes change unmanageable.
 
Transition has three phases (Bridges, 1991):
 
1) Letting go of the old ways and the identity we had- This first step is really an ending. This phase requires surrendering or letting go of the old self and dealing with what will be missed (old habits) or how to deal with the losses of the old behavior.
 
2) Going into the neutral zone-This is a time when the old behavior or thoughts are gone but the belief in the new change or behavior is not fully operational. This is the time for a critical re-pattering process. Re-patterning is a process that allows the clearing of negative emotions, behaviors and beliefs. This is the time for self-improvement study which includes: Self-examination, self-analysis and self-corrections.
 
3) Coming out of transition- A new beginning. People develop a new identity, experience a new energy and discover a new sense of purpose that makes change works. This can only be with new knowledge of self and practice. I have been taught that "Mere belief counts for nothing except that it is carried into practice".
 
Transition starts with an ending and ends with a beginning. 
When attempting to change a behavior (negative thoughts), we have to find better behaviors (positive thoughts) to take their place. If we are being defined wrongly by others, what is the right or real definition of self? Understanding self, through study, is the alternative behavior that would prove successful. Many of us overlook the letting go process necessary for real change to be sustained. Can we let go of the negative thoughts that we have about ourselves? Can we surrender them and accept the new knowledge of self? We do nothing about the feelings of loss (emotions) that are generated as of a result of attempting this new thing. When these emotions are overlooked, we can almost guarantee that our transition to a new person (behaviors, thoughts) will be mismanaged and the change or promise will be short-lived.
 
Surrender and Acceptance 
Letting go, re-patterning and making a new beginning, these processes re-orient and renew people when they are attempting to change a behavior. Understanding this concept can help us as individuals move forward in changing instead of being stuck in our efforts to change.
 
How? 
When we plan to be successful we must: 
  • Document our new thoughts- we can use a daily journal to document our thinking and ideas for planning purposes. 
  • Ask ourselves "What can be a sustainable substitute for the undesirable actions that will allow us to bridge the gap between change and transition? 
  • We must affirm new thoughts of self in order for them to have a positive influence on us. What are the actual facts of self? 
  • Write down positive affirmations daily and recite them back to ourselves.
 
We must use the power of our words to minister to our own minds. The new true positive thoughts of ourselves that we uncover can have a positive influence on our efforts to change ourselves this New Year! Let's keep the promises made to ourselves this year and truly enjoy our new beginnings!
 
This article was created and submitted by Dr. Missey Davis, Organizational Consultant & Leadership Development Coach who can be reached at email: consultmisseydavis [bejgli] yahoo.com or please visit my websites: [http://www.davisconsultgroup.org]
 
 
Article Source: EzineArticles.com
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